connection - bond - union

the title of this post, connection - bond- union, i think is a description of our relationship throughout its maturity. at first there was a connection. we met the first day of college in 2001 and during our freshmen it was clear that there was a connection between us. we would spend hours upon hours talking about anything we wanted to. from that year on, every time i saw her, i would feel a connection; every time she entered the room, whenever we spent time together.

when we began dating 4 years after we first met we established the second step of our relationship, our bond. we quickly became inseparable, spending almost every waking moment together. shannon helped me to become the person i was meant to be. she allowed me to feel so comfortable, so secure that i could do anything, i could handle any situation. the strength that she gave me is one of the greatest things i've been given.

when we married, we created the final piece to the puzzle of our relationship, our union. with this came endless possiblities: places we'll travel to, places we'll live, experiences we'll have, the names of our children, growing ever older together. our relationship has definately changed since God decided to cross our paths in 2001 but only for better.

let me preface my final thoughts by saying that in the past 17 days, my wife has been out of town for 10. she has been traveling for work, though, it hasn't been your typical work assignments. she has been able to spend 5 days rafting and and another 5 traveling around the philadelphia area learning/experiencing other gardens. she has been blessed with her job at dbg and i know she is very thankful for that. while she has been out of town it has become ever-clearer how much i love my wife. the physical distance that is between us makes everything kind of fuzzy, almost like trying to see without glasses. it is as if i am momentarily lost, without purpose. shannon and i have been able to give ourselves to each other in such a way that when we are apart, my days are almost confusing. she is not beside me when i wake, or when i close my eyes at night. she's not there to kiss, hug, smell. our connection, our bond, our union is so intense that when a piece of the puzzle, like proximity, is missing, it throws me off balance. i know that shannon will come back and that she will be with me forever. but i can't help but think about what it would be like to be here without her, if she were gone from my life. i think this may be why i feel the way i do when she is gone. my heart is feeling, albeit very minimal, what it would be like to have our connection severed. to be completely honest it scares me to death. i attempt in vain to block the feelings inside of me. it never works. all i can do is think of her.